Football

The Tip Sheet: Welcome To Longhorn Big House

I received some grief last week because my early game picks weren’t all that accurate. Look, if you want accuracy, go to Sherwood Forest and see if you can find Robin Hood’s tip sheet. Until then, maybe just back off and try not to make this about me all the time.

Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?

Of course you don’t. You only ever think about yourself.

Anyway, we’ve got a decent slate of games, though it may be a bit top-loaded. There will be some sleepers that pop up to make the week even better as well.

Remember, even the most average week of college football beats anything the NFL can do.

Saturday September 7

Teams: Arkansas (1-0) at No. 16 Oklahoma State (1-0)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ABC)
Interest: 2.5
Cheer For: Oklahoma State
Line: Oklahoma State -7.5

Arkansas is coming off of a 70-0 win over Arkansas-Pine Bluff which undoubtedly prepared them for this game against Oklahoma State. The Pokes, meanwhile, struggled to run the ball against South Dakota State, averaging just 3.8 yards per carry. Oklahoma State fans believe they are a Big XII contender. Razorback fans believe anything they find in a jar is drinkable.

Oklahoma State 26 – Arkansas 20


Teams: No. 3 Texas (1-0) at No. 10 Michigan (1-0)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (FOX)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Michigan
Line: Michigan +7.5

This is the first time since 1988 that Michigan has been a touchdown underdog at home to a non-conference opponent. Miami won that game 31-30. If Michigan keeps this game to just a one-point loss, they should consider it a win. Especially since it won’t then have to be vacated. The Wolverine offense can’t run the ball consistently and they can’t stretch the field with the passing game. Meanwhile, the offensive line is not equipped to help out in any way. If this was a boxing match, Michigan’s mission would be to hold and hug all night long. Michigan’s defense is good but they need to be better than last week if they don’t want to get blown out. The Wolverine offense is going to try to make the entire plane out of Colston Loveland, but he needs help from the rest of the UM skill players if Michigan is going to win this game.

Texas 27 – Michigan 13


Teams: No. 23 Georgia Tech (2-0) at Syracuse (1-0)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ACCN)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: Syracuse
Line: Syracuse +3

This might be two of the five best teams in the ACC. Or they’re just two teams in the ACC. It’s always difficult to tell. With so many eyes on Georgia Tech right now, a win here for Syracuse would be huge for the program. A victory would give them their first win over a ranked opponent since 2018. With these two defenses, this could become a shootout. Orange quarterback Kyle McCord threw for 353 yards and four touchdowns last week in his Syracuse debut. The Orange gave up 255 yards rushing to Ohio last week, so that’s a massive concern.

Georgia Tech 34 – Syracuse 31


Teams: Baylor (1-0) at No. 11 Utah (1-0)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (FOX)
Interest: 2.5
Cheer For: Baylor
Line: Utah -14

You’re cheering for Baylor because while you want as many Big XII teams in the playoffs as possible, you also don’t necessarily want to mess with Utah. They’re the guy in town that everybody gets along with because they’re afraid to be on his bad side. While nobody has ever actually seen him angry, there are stories about how one time he drove his truck through a Dairy Queen because they didn’t have any Snickers for his Blizzard. That may sound crazy to you, but I would point out that Snickers has to be one of their top three toppings, so why wouldn’t you have an ample amount on hand at all times? Also, if you don’t want people to drive into your restaurant, why do you have them out in the open where the public can just drive into them? Also, if you have a sign that says, “Drive Thru,” isn’t that kind of on you? (Root for Baylor, but don’t let Utah know.)

Utah 33 – Baylor 17


Teams: South Carolina (1-0) at Kentucky (1-0)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (ABC)
Interest: 1.5
Cheer For: South Carolina
Line: Kentucky -10

Go ahead and root for whoever you want. I’m not gonna gatekeep your desire to keep the SEC East alive. Lord knows how these people love to live in the past. South Carolina is in trouble right now. If you aren’t tampering for Gamecock players right now, why are you even in coaching?

Kentucky 37 – South Carolina 13


Teams: Iowa State (1-0) at No. 21 Iowa (1-0)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (CBS)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: Iowa
Line: Iowa -2.5

At the time of this meandering, Iowa isn’t even favored by a field goal. I cannot believe the lack of respect for Kirk Ferentz’s return. After serving a one-game suspension for tampering during the recruitment of his quarterback, he is now out of NCAA jail and ready to get back to a life of crime. Jail didn’t rehabilitate him. It only confirmed to himself what he already was. Society pushed him too far and now it’s time for payback. Nobody is safe. Watch the skies, for the Puntman cometh.

Iowa 24 – Iowa State 13


Teams: South Dakota (1-0) at Wisconsin (1-0)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (FS1)
Interest: 1.5
Cheer For: Wisconsin
Line: NA

The Luke Fickell era at Wisconsin has been about as impressive as a Cici’s Pizza around 2:45 in the afternoon. The lunch crowd is gone. The dinner crowd is a couple of hours away. There’s nothing but old, cold pizzas on display, but you’re still paying the same price. Yeah, Wisconsin’s offense may advertise mac & cheese pizza, but it’s been sitting under a heat lamp since 1:30. The only luster left is the oil that has seeped out to the surface and now pooled indiscriminately. And sure, you eat it because it’s pizza, and it’s not terrible but this is not what you thought you were getting when you handed over that $5.99. You thought you were getting quality when you paid to watch Wisconsin football.

Wisconsin 29 – South Dakota 12


Teams: Michigan State (1-0) at Maryland (1-0)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (BTN)
Interest: 2.5
Cheer For: Michigan State
Line: Maryland -8

Maryland is going to use this game to remind everybody that they’re still in the Big Ten. We’ve all become so enamored with the fancy West Coast programs since they entered the conference that we have forgotten about the fancy East Coast programs that have been here for a decade now. A long, terrible decade. Still, the Terps had one of the Big Ten’s best wins last week, handing UConn a 50-7 defeat. This week, they play the UConn of the Big Ten. Sparty had a rough go of it in last week’s 16-10 win over Florida Atlantic. Quarterback Aidan Chiles has potential but struggled throughout his MSU debut.

Maryland 27 – Michigan State 17


Teams: No. 19 Kansas (1-0) at Illinois (1-0)
Time (TV): 7:00 pm (FS1)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: Illinois
Line: Illinois +5

Illinois is going to lose this game in the most painful fashion. Even Eli Roth is going to have to turn away. This one is gonna hurt. Illinois fans are going to need tourniquets for their hearts. The Illini got a nice start last week with a 45-0 win over Eastern Illinois. Kansas had a similar opponent, defeating Lindenwood 48-3. Neither team was prepared for this game by the opening opponents, which is only going to add to the chaos. If Illinois quarterback Luke Altmyer can avoid the turnovers, I like the Illini’s chances. We should also say the same about Kansas quarterback Jalon Daniels, who had an interception last week. He has the ability to make any defense look foolish. I don’t know what happens if both quarterbacks avoid turnovers. Good thing we won’t have to find out.

Kansas 28 – Illinois 23


Teams: Eastern Kentucky (0-1) at Western Kentucky (0-1)
Time (TV): 7:00 pm (ESPN+)
Interest: 1
Cheer For: Eastern Kentucky
Line: NA

This game is being played above an active coal fire. Don’t worry, the coal fire has been burning since 1974, but it’s relatively harmless as long as you don’t breath in the smoke or get consumed by the flames. Plus, it keeps the field from freezing later in the season.

Western Kentucky 30 – Eastern Kentucky 14


Teams: No. 14 Tennessee (1-0) vs. No. 24 North Carolina State (1-0) (at Charlotte)
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (ABC)
Interest: 4
Cheer For: North Carolina State
Line: North Carolina State +8

North Carolina State needed 21 fourth-quarter points last week to beat Western Carolina 38-21. They will probably need 21 fourth-quarter points this week to beat Tennessee. Along with 17 first-quarter points. Tennessee quarterback Nico Iamaleava was nearly perfect last week against Chattanooga, completing 22-of-28 passes for 314 yards and three touchdowns. Both of these ranked teams should have blown their opponents out, but only one of them did. Maybe that’s because the Wolfpack were already preparing for Tennessee. Maybe it will matter.

Tennessee 35 – North Carolina State 24


Teams: Colorado (1-0) at Nebraska (1-0)
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (NBC)
Interest: 4.5
Cheer For: Nebraska
Line: Nebraska -7.5

Everything is right with the world when a college football game between Nebraska and Colorado is important. It’s even more right when the game features quality play and winning moments. (As opposed to the head-shaking derpathons we’ve come to know and love from these two teams.) I would just like to tell the football gods that this time we’re not here to laugh. We’re here to watch. And then laugh. Give us three good quarters of drama before the comedy sets in. Let us feel something again. Please. The biggest hurdle to Nebraska coming into Ohio Stadium with a 7-0 record may be this game right here. The Buffaloes can’t run the ball, which means the Huskers should invite them to try. The story of this game will be CU quarterback Shedeur Sanders vs. NU freshman quarterback Dylan Raiola. They will both make plays, but whoever gets the most help from the running game and the defense will come out on top. I want to believe that Nebraska has finally turned the corner on giving games away, but a freshman starting quarterback is always going to cost you a game somewhere along the way. But not today.

Nebraska 41 – Colorado 38


Teams: Western Michigan (0-1) at No. 2 Ohio State (1-0)
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (BTN)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Ohio State
Line: Ohio State -38.5

The Buckeyes are looking to continue their domination of the MAC this week when they host Western Michigan. Ohio State has grown tired of seeing in-state schools like Toledo, Bowling Green, and Ohio tout their conference dominance. You don’t brag on somebody else’s court. So now the Buckeyes want to again prove that nobody in the MAC can handle them. Sure, this is only a two-game sample size and we’ll never know for sure if this Ohio State team could win the MAC, but OU, UT, and BGSU will have to admit after this game that the Buckeyes would at least give them a hell of a fight!

Ohio State 52 – Western Michigan 10


Teams: Boise State (1-0) at No. 7 Oregon (1-0)
Time (TV): 10:00 pm (Peacock)
Interest: 4.5
Cheer For: Oregon
Line: Oregon -19

The Oregon Ducks were in a slapfight last week against Idaho. The Ducks averaged just 2.9 yards per carry against the Vandals. Quarterback Dillon Gabriel completed 41-of-49 passes for 380 yards, but only three of those completions went at least 20 yards, and none went 30 yards. Boise State may have been looking ahead to this game because they got into a 56-45 shootout with Georgia Southern. The Broncos are going to try to run the ball and shorten the game. Running back Ashton Jeanty went for 267 on the ground last week. He won’t do that this week, but if Boise State is going to make this a game, Jeanty will need to be a major part of the attack. Oregon has to finish better than they did a week ago. The Boise State defense doesn’t seem to exist, so the Ducks should be okay.

Oregon 38 – Boise State 24

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