What Would A Big Ten-Only Draft Look Like For Big Ten Teams?

Now that player movement and professionalization is becoming the norm in college football, what would it look like if the Big Ten took things a gigantic step farther and had a draft every year solely within the conference and based on the previous year’s standings?

Everybody is eligible to be drafted. But a player can only be selected once, and a team can only lose one player per round. Which also means if you finish at the top of the standings the year before, you’re only going to be able to draft from the slim pickings of the one team that hasn’t had a player selected yet.

But the good news, if you finish dead last, then you can draft anybody. Would this encourage tanking? Maybe, but would anybody notice if the worst Big Ten teams started losing on purpose? It’s a victimless crime.

You’re probably saying, “Why not have, like, five players that you can remove from the list of draft-eligible players?” To which I would reply that this isn’t that serious. We don’t need a committee to come up with rules on something so fake.

This is obviously an exercise of fantasy — and it’s something I’ve done years before there was ever a transfer portal — but I’m bringing it back for a very good reason — it’s the dead of the offseason and I am contractually obligated to produce content.

Round One

1. Indiana – Dillon Gabriel, QB Oregon

Even though Indiana went into the portal for Ohio quarterback Kurtis Rourke, selecting former-Oklahoma-and-current-Oregon-quarterback Dillon Gabriel here is too much for new head coach Curt Cignetti to pass up. He brings the experience and production Cignetti needs to put his stamp on the program.

Cignetti: “Dillon is going from the Indiana of the West to the Indiana of the Midwest. He’s gonna love it here. We have a Culver’s!”

2. Michigan State – Mason Graham, DT Michigan

Games are won up front, and so selecting Michigan defensive tackle Mason Graham is a no-brainer for new Michigan State head coach Jonathan Smith. Plus, this pick has the added benefit of hurting Michigan, which makes things all the better for the Spartans.

Smith: “We’re having trouble getting Mason’s credits to carry over, but we’re hopeful we can get him into school after an appeals process.”

3. Purdue – Emeka Egbuka, WR Ohio State

Purdue needs help on offense, but head coach Ryan Walters is comfortable enough with quarterback Hudson Card. Since Walters subscribes to Ohio State message boards, there was serious consideration for Buckeye freshman receiver Jeremiah Smith, but instead the pick here is teammate Emeka Egbuka.

Walters: “Emeka Egbuka can play anywhere for us. And he’s going to. Seriously. Learn to speak Chris Gamble, buddy.”

4. Illinois – Nicholas Singleton, RB Penn State

This was a coinflip for Illinois head coach Bret Bielema. The choice was always going to be a running back, then he had to decide which running back. It came down to Penn State’s Nick Singleton and Kaytron Allen. Bielema borrowed a quarter — which he did not return — and the flip came up Singleton.

Bielema: “If he didn’t want to be run into the ground, he should have thought about that before he accepted the Big Ten’s terms and conditions which were part of the fine print on his scholarship papers. Item Z, notation 42, clause L. ‘You may retain the rights to your name, image, and likeness, but your ass belongs to the Big Ten.’ It’s right there in tiny bold print. Maybe get a better lawyer next time. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

5. Nebraska – Zachariah Branch, WR USC

Zachariah Branch never came close to repeating his collegiate debut last year where he touched the ball nine times for 232 all-purpose yards, but Nebraska head coach Matt Rhule is confident he can get the most out of one of the Big Ten’s most dynamic players.

Rhule: “We expect Zachariah to be a huge part of our passing game and kickoff return game. And, God willing, if we can force some punts, we think he can help us there as well.”

6. Minnesota – Logan Jones, C Iowa

Minnesota returns four of their five starters on the offensive line. They just need a center. Iowa’s Logan Jones may be the Big Ten’s best center, so Gophers head coach PJ Fleck saw this as a perfect fit. This may not be considered a sexy pick by most, but it is if you remember that these two teams play for a bronze pig.

Fleck: “Coming from Iowa, it may take some time for Logan to get accustomed to our offense, but we think it’s worth the risk. We just have to build up his stamina to be able to go more than three snaps in a series.”

7. Rutgers – Aidan Chiles, QB Michigan State

Rutgers is in a perpetual search for a quarterback, and sure they may have landed former Gopher quarterback Athan Kaliakmanis out of the portal, but the potential of former Oregon State — and now former Michigan State — quarterback Aidan Chiles is too much for head coach Greg Schiano to ignore.

Schiano: “We like Aidan’s ability to create something out of nothing and we plan to put it to the test every single week.”

8. Maryland – Dillon Thieneman, SAF Purdue

Dillon Thieneman had a fantastic season last year as a freshman, finishing seventh in the Big Ten with 106 tackles and second with six interceptions. For Maryland head coach Mike Locksley, he will be the last line of a defense that will also need a first and second line at some point.

Locksley: “Dillon will patrol the back of our defense. Some say it will be like trying to bail out a sinking boat with a fishing net, but I am an optimist, so I choose to look at the boat as only half full.”

9. UCLA – Kyle Monangai, RB Rutgers

With the Bruins losing running back Carson Steele to the NFL, new head coach — and former UCLA running back — DeShaun Foster will go with what he knows best and select one of the Big Ten’s best running backs. Paired with TJ Harden, who rushed for 827 yards last year, the Bruins could be a pain to defend.

Foster: “Kyle is going to bring a New Jersey toughness to our program, but he is going to have to get over this arrogance of not pumping his own gas.”

10. Wisconsin – Jonah Coleman, RB Washington

While head coach Luke Fickell thought about taking Washington quarterback Will Rogers to add to his collection of transfer QBs, the safer bet here is Jonah Coleman, who rushed for 871 yards on 6.8 yards per carry last year at Arizona before transferring to Washington with head coach Jedd Fisch.

Fickell: “We need a pair and a spare at running back, so we went with Jonah. We could also use a pair and a spare at quarterback, but the way our bank account is set up…”

11. Northwestern – Kurtis Rourke, QB Indiana

This is not a painful loss for the Hoosiers thanks to the selection of Dillon Gabriel first overall. Head coach David Braun sees Kurtis Rourke as having the same kind of makeup and skill set as past Northwestern quarterback luminaries like Zak Kustok, Brett Basanez, and CJ Bacher.

Braun: “I can’t wait for our fans to get an opportunity to watch Kurtis, provided they are able to find a solid sightline inside our makeshift stadium this season.”

12. USC – Ricardo Hallman, CB Wisconsin

Per usual, USC head coach Lincoln Riley wanted to take some offense here, but after several hours of begging and pleading by new defensive coordinator D’Anton Lynn, Riley acquiesced and selected Wisconsin cornerback Ricardo Hallman and his Big Ten-leading seven interceptions from last season.

Riley: “I don’t see how drafting somebody on defense is going to help us score more points than the opponent, but I’m willing to try anything at this point.”

13. Iowa – Dylan Raiola, QB Nebraska

Behind head coach Kirk Ferentz finally having to say goodbye to his son as offensive coordinator, drafting Dylan Raiola is the second-most exciting thing to ever happen to the Iowa offense. Even though he’s a freshman, he will be able to pick up the playbook. I mean, how long can it take to learn two pass plays?

Ferentz: “Dylan has some qualities that we haven’t seen at Iowa since CJ Beathard. So yeah, we’re gonna unleash him and let him throw the ball all over the place to our tight ends and running backs.”

14. Penn State – Aireontae Ersery, LT Minnesota

Minnesota tackle Aireontae Ersery is the best lineman on the board and he should be able to step in for first-round left tackle Olu Fashanu. There was some thought about drafting a quarterback should Drew Allar get selected later on, but the last thing head coach James Franklin wants is options at quarterback.

Franklin: “We felt like offensive line was the biggest area of need so that Drew Allar has more time to run our check-down offense to perfection.”

15. Ohio State – Reuben Unije, RT UCLA

Perhaps the biggest question mark for head coach Ryan Day’s Buckeyes is the situation at right guard. With the selection of UCLA tackle Reuben Unije, the Buckeyes would have another option at right tackle, which then gives them another option at right guard in the form of starting right tackle Josh Fryar.

Day: “While it would have been nice to reunite quarterback Ethan Garbers with Chip Kelly, we can’t spend all of our NIL money on quarterbacks. We have to save some of it for Australian punters.”

16. Oregon – Theran Johnson, CB Northwestern

At this point in the draft, the pool is pretty shallow, but Ducks do love shallow pools. The selection of Northwestern cornerback Theran Johnson makes head coach Dan Lanning’s secondary even deeper. Plus Johnson can probably offer some tutoring to his teammates in his spare time.

Lanning: “We had some defensive collapses last year against some terrific quarterbacks. Fortunately, we play in the Big Ten now so that’s no longer an issue.”

17. Washington – JC Davis, LT Illinois

JC Davis was one of the top-rated offensive tackles in the transfer portal. Hopefully he didn’t unpack his boxes. New Washington head coach Jedd Fisch is bringing some players with him from Arizona, but he is going to need help all over the place. Davis gives them one answer up front.

Fisch: “I know JC wanted to play at Illinois and had his hopes of living in Champaign and we have taken that dream from him. In order to perhaps give him some of the Champaign-Urbana life that he was looking for, we have some interns who will break into his car every few weeks.”

18. Michigan – RJ Morris, QB Maryland

Michigan head coach Sherrone Moore is looking through the Maryland roster like a kid at Christmastime looking through a CVS flier hoping to see some toys, but it’s just alarm clocks and paper towels. The Wolverines could use a receiver like Tai Felton, but quarterback RJ Morris has actual starting experience.

Moore: “RJ was somebody that we only recently scouted, which is new for us.”

[Dillon Gabriel header photo courtesy of the Oregon Dept. of Athletics.]

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